


reality

by smuttytaelien



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Dancer Lee Minho | Lee Know, Han Jisung | Han-centric, Heavy Angst, Hwang Hyunjin is a Sweetheart, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Major Character Injury, Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:28:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22772548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smuttytaelien/pseuds/smuttytaelien
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 10
Kudos: 96





	reality

Minho always sounded weightless when he climbed the stairs, Jisung remembered. His feet barely grazed the steps before he flew to the next one in bubbly haste. His footfalls sounded no different on his wedding day, and the familiarity seized Jisung's heart. 

Jisung harbored regrets frequently, burying them in the darkest part of his mind in hopes they would fade with time. That's what he attempted to do with Minho, but the lavish venue, delicious cake, and the other man standing at the alter dragged them into the light. Jisung was attending the wedding of the love of his life, and he wasn't the groom. Hell, he wasn't even graced with the invitation to be a groomsman, which, in hindsight, made complete sense. But at the moment, Jisung fumed with jealousy and an overwhelming sense of guilt. He wasn't in the wrong with his jealous scowl, but he reminded himself that he made a conscientious decision to leave Minho that night, and the beautiful man marrying his love was not the villain. 

Jisung took his seat near the back, wishing the plastic chairs would transport him far away from the heartbreak consuming him. Guests trickled in around him, most rushing for the front row seats and inevitably the best view of the grooms. Jisung pinpointed Minho's flabbergasted mother in the rush with her graying hair pinned up neatly instead of toppling over in its customary floppy bun. She was as gorgeous as Jisung remembered her, and it was no doubt Minho inherited his feline eyes from her wearing features. The preacher clapped once, his large hands producing a sound that silenced even Minho's annoyingly ADHD little cousin. 

The preachers beginning speech sounded as generic as a hallmark card, greeting the guests and introducing them to the two as if a hundred strangers had dared to walk into the grand hall. The imprint of Minho's tongue against his cheek was hardly noticeable from the back row, but Jisung noticed regardless. His years spent training for the intricate mission that is Minho taught him to recognize when his boyfriend was feeling particularly agitated. The black-haired male clutching Minho's delicate hands seem oblivious to this habit, and the thought almost made Jisung scoff. 

The first time Jisung approached Minho about his anxious habits was after his first college dance class. Minho came home with his messenger bag clutched to his pulsing heart, and his tongue glided across his cheek. Jisung questioned Minho on his behavior and discovered that the man had received harsh critique from his teacher about his contemporary dance skills and that the words damaged his fragile ego. Jisung hugged him close, ignoring the sensation of Minho's sweaty forehead clinging to his t-shirt.He wanted to do the same now, feel Minho's soft hair tickling his chin, and breath relieved when Minho prodded his tongue into Jisung's eager mouth instead. 

Hyunjin didn't pull Minho close, but the subtle stroke of his thumb against the back of Minho's hand had the same effect. Minho's smile quirked slightly to the left in a familiar manner, and Jisung knew he was genuinely happy standing in front of his fiance.

Jisung rubbed the spot over his cracking heart, wondering if he would be able to feel when his heart had withstood too much, and the shattered pieces sliced his aching lungs. 

The ceremony soon came to a tearful end, and the couple ran down the center aisle, hands intertwined and eyes shining. Minho's suit jacket fluttered past Jisung close enough that the man could have reached out and felt the silk between his fingers. He wondered if Hyunjin would brush his hand over it later, peel it from Minho's dancer body and discard it on their hotel floor in a frenzy of heated kisses and sinful touches, or maybe Hyunjin didn't appreciate Minho's fast-paced rhythm. Maybe Hyunjin preferred to savor the sensual atmosphere, maybe Minho hated that about Hyunjin. He didn't, Jisung knew, but the childish part of his brain found no other way to cope with the overwhelming feelings. 

If Jisung found the ceremony heartbreaking, then the reception was soul-crushing. From the way Minho's eyes sparkled during the first dance, to how playfully Hyunjin smeared their cake frosting across Minho's delicate cheekbones. Jisung had done the same thing to Minho once, on his eighteenth birthday. 

Eighteenth birthdays were meant to be special in Jisung's eyes, and as a naive seventeen-year-old, he wondered why Minho never threw himself a lavish birthday party. Minho didn't live uncomfortably, but he was certainly nowhere near as wealthy as the Kardashians. He favored sentiment over supplement (Jisung assumed the grand hall was mainly Hyunjin's doing) and despised the idea of a large birthday celebration. So instead, he invited Jisung and their friends over for a small gathering. Jisung, having known Minho the longest and probably the best, arrived early, hoping to hang around with his boyfriend before the chaos began. He walked in on a very startled Minho trying desperately to frost his cake and ultimately failing. Jisung cooed at his pouty boyfriend and rushed to help, but being the hyperactive teenager he was, he couldn't resist the temptation, swiping his finger over Minho's forehead. The blue icing spread across his forehead elicited an insulted gasp, starting an all-out food war in Minho's spotless kitchen. 

There was no food war this time around, no kisses shared between thrown icing and tumbling sprinkles. In fact, Minho barely flinched when Hyunjin smeared it around, and it made Jisung wonder if maybe Minho was thinking about him too. 

Jisung glanced around the room at the excited guests and happy smiles and decided he didn't fit in. He spotted the fountain looming in the shadows outside and rushed to the french doors. Nobody even noticed him leaving. 

He sat down on the stone benches and dipped his hand into the freezing water, wanting to feel the icy burn. The music inside switched from slow to rap, and Jisung recognized the tune immediately. That was his song, that was the song he made for Minho the day he asked the dancer to marry him. He peeked through the glass doors and saw Hyunjin mouthing along to the lyrics, Minho doing the same. The jealousy that had subsided momentarily flared up again, and it was furious. 

Instead of raging, however, Jisung stared at the night sky and counted the stars. What right did he have to be angry? He left, and nobody forced him to go. The music stopped, the guests cheered, and the reception continued. Jisung counted 327 stars before he heard a rustling next to him, and noticed the lanky silhouette of Hyunjin. 

"Hey, man," Hyunjin greeted with a friendly wave, sitting on the cold stone bench next to him. "You must be one of Minho's friends. I don't think we've met." 

Jisung almost corrected him until he realized that he was Minho's friend now. Hyunjin lived his relationship, and he was nothing.

"Yeah, I'm Jisung," he introduced himself politely but wanted nothing more than to escape the awkward encounter. Hyunjin's smile faltered for a moment before flickering on again.

"Han Jisung? I heard about the breakup, Minho told me about you."

No, Jisung concluded, he hadn't heard the truth about the breakup, because if he had, he would be avoiding Jisung at all costs, not chatting with him like he cared. 

"He loves talking, that's for sure."

Hyunjin giggled fondly at the statement, and suddenly Jisung could understand why Minho fell so deeply in love with the black-haired beauty. A leisurely silence overtook the spot where conversation previously flowed. Hyunjin tapped his dress shoes against the ground rhythmically, contemplating and crafting his next words in a way that Jisung wouldn't find insulting.

"Thank you," he finally decided on. Jisung inquisitively looked at him, head tilted like a puppy. "Thank you for making Minho happy."

"No need for thanks. Just do me a favor, will you?" Jisung turned to face him, his relaxed smile abruptly becoming serious. "Love him like I never got too." 

Hyunjin wanted to pry, but he relented. He nodded his head politely, gave Jisung a cordial fistbump, and returned to the best night of his life, never seeing Jisung again. 

When the reception finally ended, and the newlyweds arrived at their hotel, Hyunjin was ready to indulge in his favorite bedtime activity: ten hours of sleep. Minho appeared to share his idea because the man had not spared Hyunjin one flirtatious glance. If anything, his concentrated lip bite said he was deep in his subconscious. Hyunjin peeled off his suit jacket, the shirt beneath following soon after.

"Oh, babe! You'll never guess who I met today," Hyunjin cheered, drawing out the last syllable gleefully.

Minho snapped out of his reverie and raised a curious eyebrow. "Who?"

"Remember the ex you told me about? Chubby cheeked Jisung?"

Minho's fingers paused their unbuttoning, and hovered shakily over the slippery accessories. "Yes, I do."

"Well, I saw him at the wedding! I didn't know you invited him. He's nice though, and I would love to get in contact with-" 

"Hyunjin."

Hyunjin released a hum of acknowledgment and stopped searching through his unloaded luggage.

"There's something I never told you about Hannie."

The nickname stung, Hyunjin having never heard Minho call him a cute nickname. Disregarding his jealousy, he motioned for Minho to continue. 

"Jisung killed himself three years ago."

[ fin. ]


End file.
